the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
