Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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