i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
