im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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