I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
