there's paper in my vomit.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
