Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
