You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
