So gin and wine won't be happening again
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
