He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
