Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I have already put on my inside pants.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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