she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
