Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
