So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
