Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Randomize
