they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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