i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
