and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
