Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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