im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The best revenge is premature balding
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
