You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
