I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
