i don't plan on having that self control this summer
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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