Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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