i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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