Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
