Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
