so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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