she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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