there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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