I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
