guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Randomize
