I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
