its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
