Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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