he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
