I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We had to coat check the pizza.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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