The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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