he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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