WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
