omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
