My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
