I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
