she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
