similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
