what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
