Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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