Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize