No subtext here. People are naked.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
