we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
