every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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