just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
