He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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