does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize