Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
