no, he came in my armpit
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
