Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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