Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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