he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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