I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize