we're blogging at a bar
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
